It is human nature that we tend to do the things we are good at. We feel good so we do more, and from repetition, we get even better at it. It becomes a cycle. The reverse is also true. Things we are not good at or not familiar with, we tend to procrastinate or disassociate. The more we avoid, the more resistance we build and the more we feel incapable.
This is a very common story for women around money. For various reasons, we don’t see ourselves as being good at money, so the cycle of self doubt, self deprecation which then lead to fear continues. If we don’t break this cycle, then we stay frustrated, disappointed, and eventually live out our lives with many regrets.
To break this cycle, we must learn to reframe how we look at the world and how we look at ourselves. We must learn to become the ally to ourselves, as opposed to being the critic. At the psychological level, we need to shift our self identity with money. One way to do that is to identify an area of your life where you excel in. For example, if you are a good cook, tap into that sense of confidence and pride while you are in the kitchen, that satisfaction and joy when others salivate over your creations. Now, close your eyes and imagine that same sensation of pride and confidence about your finances. Yes, it is possible, we all have the capacity, it’s a matter of whether we allow ourselves to dig inside and let it out. Remember, the reason you are a good cook is probably because you’ve been doing a lot of cooking. This brings me to the second point.
At the practical level, confidence is built through practice. The more attention we pay to our finances the more we will become familiar and good at it. We can start by keeping a close track of what’s coming in, what’s going out. Know and own your cash flow (remember, no judgements here)! Secondly, get clear on what is your true net worth (all assets minus all liabilities). Lastly, get clear on your Number, the amount of money you need to retire or the amount of passive income you need to generate to sustain your lifestyle. None of these steps require Calculus.
While the steps outlined here sound simple, I GET the fact that to transform our own identity is no simple task, nor is changing habits. I have never been a good cook, in fact, I only started learning to cook 8 years ago. Back then, if you asked me to prepare a meal, I would literally freeze standing in front of a fridge full of groceries. Why? Because I didn’t know what to do or where to begin. So I get the feeling of being stuck!
I finally broke through my own paralysis by buying a couple of cookbooks while living in Paris and followed the recipes step-by-step. Essentially, I started learning from others. Although I still don’t consider myself a good cook today, I CAN however make an edible meal from what’s in the fridge. What’s the big deal? Well, that fear went away, the fear of not being able to feed my kids when my husband is away. I now feel lighter and more confident about myself!
Now imagine living your life without the fear of money! How liberating would that be!
If you are ready to tap into your inner strength and become the master of your money, join me at my upcoming workshop on Increase Your Money Confidence. The beauty of participating in a workshop is that you will realize that you are not alone! There are other women on the same journey and there is a whole tribe supporting you.
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